Mental Health Wellness Tips for Quarantine - Part 2
8. Spend extra time playing with children.
Children will rarely communicate how they are feeling, but will often make a bid for attention and communication through play. Don’t be surprised to see therapeutic themes of illness, doctor visits, and isolation play through. Understand that play is cathartic and helpful for children—it is how they process their world and problem solve, and there’s a lot they are seeing and experiencing in the now.
9. Give everyone the benefit of the doubt and a wide berth.
A lot of cooped up time can bring out the worst in everyone. Each person will have moments when they will not be at their best. It is essential to move with grace through blowups, to not show up to every argument you are invited to, and not to hold grudges and continue disagreements. Everyone is doing the best they can to make it through this.
10. Everyone finds their own retreat space.
Space is at a premium, particularly with city living. People must think through their own separate space for work and relaxation. For children, help them identify a place where they can go to retreat when stressed. You can make this place cozy by using blankets, pillows, cushions, scarves, beanbags, tents, and “forts”. It is good to know that even when we are on top of each other, we have our own special place to go to be alone.
11. Expect behavioral issues in children, and respond gently.
We are all struggling with disruption in routine, none more than children, who rely on routines constructed by others to make them feel safe and to know what comes next. Expect increased anxiety, worries, and fears, nightmares, difficulty separating or sleeping, testing limits, and meltdowns. Do not introduce major behavioral plans or consequences at this time—hold stable and focus on emotional connection.
12. Focus on safety and attachment.
We are going to be living for a bit with the unprecedented demand for meeting all work deadlines, homeschooling children, running a sterile household, and making a whole lot of entertainment in confinement. We can get wrapped up in meeting expectations in all domains, but we must remember that these are scary and unpredictable times for children. Focus on strengthening the connection through time spent following their lead, through physical touch, through play, through therapeutic books, and via verbal reassurances that you will be there for them at this time.
13. Lower expectations and practice radical self-acceptance.
This idea is connected with #12. We are doing too many things at this moment, under fear and stress. This does not make a formula for excellence. Instead, give yourself what psychologists call “radical self-acceptance”: accepting everything about yourself, your current situation, and your life without question, blame, or pushback. You cannot fail at this—there is no roadmap, no precedent for this, and we are all genuinely doing the best we can in an impossible situation.
14. Limit social media and COVID conversation, especially around children.
One can find tons of information on COVID-19 to consume, and it changes minute to minute. The data is often sensationalized, negatively skewed, and alarmist. Find a few trusted sources that you can check in with consistently, limit it to a few times a day, and set a time limit for yourself on how much you consume (again 30 minutes tops, 2-3 times daily). Keep news and alarming conversations out of earshot from children—they see and hear everything, and can become very frightened by what they hear.
15. Notice the good in the world, the helpers.
There is a lot of scary, negative, and overwhelming information to take in regarding this pandemic. There are also a ton of stories of people sacrificing, donating, and supporting one another in miraculous ways. It is crucial to counter-balance the heavy information with the hopeful information.
16. Help others.
Find ways, big and small, to give back to others. Support restaurants offer to grocery shop, check-in with elderly neighbors, write psychological wellness tips for others—helping others provides us with a sense of agency when things seem out of control.
-Victoria Ackerman Dr. Eileen Feliciano, a doctoral-level Psychologist in NYS with a Psy.D. in the specialties of School and Clinical Psychology.
Date stamp is: March 23, 2020
From the bottom of my heart
Elke
Photo: Pexels-woman-wearing-white-sleeveless-top-3094230-
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Text: Victoria Ackerman Dr. Eileen Feliciano, a doctoral level
Psychologist in NYS with a Psy.D. in the specialties of
School and Clinical Psychology.